Leon is an animal, right?
by Warfang
Summary: Leon is turned into an unidentifiable animal by a curse. Can D and Jill reverse the effects?


Disclaimer: I do not own Pet shop of Horrors. I have also used the story Dragon Knights by Mineko Ohkami for the basis of the cult and backstory. But when you never name anyone, you don't have to put the story in crossovers, or if you do, let me know. Also, the last story had 160 hits before one review. May I inform you that this idea formed at the same time the other one did, so review, even if you can only tell me what to work on, please.

The drug heist was supposed to be a simple deal. Now, looking back on everything, that simple deal had gone a long ways to fixing the broken world, wrecking Leon's supposed life, and doing everything in a very confusing way.

Leon just wished that they found the original forest and the spring sometime soon. He was not looking forward to getting fleas again.

Oh, that's right. Leon was not having one of those 'I-turned-into-an-animal-and-can't-wake-up' dreams. Leon was sitting on Count D's table and drinking tea out of a bottle cap. Why? Because he couldn't fit anything bigger than that into his paws.

Let's go back to the drug heist, shall we? And start from there. After all, all stories need a beginning.

* * *

Leon crept around the crates in a four story warehouse. The drug heist had taken up six months of investigation and two weeks of planning to go in. And like all cliché movies, if they messed up here, not only would the gang pack up and leave, but they would be without a case.

Leon dropped to all fours and crawled to where he could see shoes and hear the inhale of a cigarette. He had heard that the drugs were not recreational; in fact, a local gypsy had given them the tip. Leon himself had pushed the case, saying that the incense D burned was inhaled by the customers and helped with the animals. He pulled a favor with the forensics and chemistry departments, and they validated the fears of the local community and Leon's latest swearing.

Just as he came up from the crouch, his ear bud squawked.

"We are ready. Proceed."

The typical roof lights crashing and loud speakers announcing they were surrounded fell on deaf ears. Leon was staring at a man in high heels, wearing loose leggings and a torn shirt. The man swore and swung the twig he was holding at Leon.

Leon felt the world go white before he realized that was a smoke screen. He coughed, and heard his gun clatter next to him.

The man, with an odd haircut for red hair, yelled "Sorry!" and ran, disappearing into the water of the bay, through a hole in the floor. Leon blinked. The man had behaved quite strangely.

"Oy! One got away down the hole!"

The S.W.A.T. team stared at him.

"Hey! I mean it! There was a smoke screen and then he ran!"

Leon craned his neck up to glare into the men's faces, and then realized he was staring all the way up.

"What? So I fell."

The men shook their heads.

"Mr. Detective, now that I am arrested," Leon turned his head to the man. His appearance screamed 'rat.' "I must tell you, we stole the goods from a cult, and they were quite upset about a group of no-gooders stealing their shit."

The man grinned. "That twig next to you was cursed, and apparently, that wasn't superstition."

Leon groaned. "Someone see if we can get a lead on the original cult, _take them away!_ And let's see about fixing this. What exactly has happened?"

One of the tactical men leaned down and picked Leon up. With only one hand, which Leon realized he fit into. Leon fought against fainting.

"Someone get me outta here and help me fill out a report." Leon realized that buying a new brand of cigarettes had just become his last worry. "Hey, what am I anyways?"

"Nothing I have ever seen before, sir."

Leon then passed out.

* * *

Leon awoke in the animal hospital. The doctor beamed down at him. "This is not a hallucination, and greatest secrecy has been deployed. You are the victim of an actual curse. We have no idea what you are, but I give you a clean bill of health. Don't worry; the Bureau is covering the payment as a work related injury." The doctor grinned. His white coat and necktie clashed horribly, Leon only hoped that he was wearing a shirt that went with the dark olive green.

"Your tie is a dark olive green."

"Hmmm. You seem to retain full function of human speech. Then again, many animals such as whales have a far more developed brain than humans. At least you can still communicate through this crisis."

"Has anyone made any progress on my condition?"

"We have decided that you will stay with a close friend who will keep his mouth shut while Detective Jill tracks down the cult. From what we gathered, the man you surprised was from the cult, stealing back what they considered the most dangerous object the thieves stole."

Leon groaned. Just his luck to try and nab the 'noble' one in the group. Leon sat up. "Would a description of the guy help?"

"Ah, yes. There is an FBI sketch artist here. The nurses believe he is here to pick up a friend's pet, and you will be smuggled to your new home in this cat carrier."

Leon paled at viewing the gray contraption. Underneath the fur, though, no one could tell. Leon was the size of a kitten growing into a cat, he was covered in fur, and had a tail that bushed, and he suspected bristled like a cat. His ears were huge, or maybe they naturally stood straight. Leon reached up a paw to check.

The FBI agent coughed, and sat down in the chair. Leon turned to him.

"Er, I am about six feet tall, and the guy had been wearing high heels, and had a few inches on me. He had red hair, and a funny haircut. The side locks hung in front and I had no idea how long the back was-short, I recall. He had a plain face, with no outstanding features. I couldn't tell you what ancestry he had. He had no weapons on him that I could see, and he ran in those heels like he was used to them."

The FBI agent raised an eyebrow.

"I am not making that up. This guy moved like he was used to running around."_...in stiletto high heels._

"Okay. If you remember anything, contact the agency and asked for Samuel. Here's the card." Leon learned that he could still hold onto objects as he had as a human. Yay for opposable thumbs.

Leon then crawled into the carrier. Agent Samuel picked him up and delivered him to the back of a car. He began to drive. Leon realized that he would have to eventually figure a way out of the carrier so that he would not be at the mercy of lesser individuals. He also realized that he had no idea where they were headed.

He could not see out of the window, and the bars were limiting the view of the back of the driver's seat as it was.

Wait a minute…..

They said a close friend, someone who was good with animals, someone Jill trusted….

Leon felt himself start to sweat from anxiety. Surely they had not told…

Agent Samuel stopped the car, and opened the doors, pulling the carrier out. Leon choked back a shriek as he saw the descending stairs.

The man was a suspect in his ongoing case, damn it!

The door opened. "Greetings, Agent Samuel. I presume the dear detective is in the carrier?"

"You damn well bet I'm in the cage!" Leon's suppressed shriek lent itself to the volume of his outburst. Agent Samuel set the carrier on the table, and unlocked the door. Fuming, Leon stormed out and glared at Count D.

Count D blinked. Then proceeded to gush over how fine Leon's fur coat was. Agent Samuel bade them good-bye, and left, saying that the progress of the case was estimated for two weeks. He was off to inform Leon's landlord, and the company had seen to all of Leon's needs to keep the place secure. Leon thanked him, then returned to glowering at the Count.

D seemed to be off in LaLa-Land, with a season ticket. He giggled and fussed over Leon, until Leon started screaming. "It is me, D! The officer who brought you a strawberry parfait last week and promised you a taste of the lemon parfait next time! Stop crooning over me!"

D stopped.

He stared.

And began to smile.

Leon felt very afraid, so he hopped off the table and under the couch. D knelt down and coaxed Leon out with food, and promises to go back to how he usually treated Leon, with utmost hospitality.

"Not to mention, the other animals don't know what to make of you, and unlike Q-chan, the snakes may try to eat you. So you must stay close to me, okay?"

Leon drooled onto D's hand after finishing the morsel. D widened his eyes comically, then picked up Leon by the neck scruff and set him on the table.

"The sugar cookies are at the end of the table. I know I have something for you to drink from. I'll be right back."

Leon figured that the top of the table was off-limits to the other pets, and that was why D was leaving him alone right after saying that Leon should stay with him. Leon was not about to argue, as he lowered onto all fours and bounded to the food, in a motion depicting a running domesticated cat.

He sat and began to devour the sugar cookie he could just lift up to his mouth.

D returned later, and with a can of beer, for some reason.

He set the bottle cap down, and poured some beer into the cap.

"This is to help you sleep. The new body must be very confusing to you."

"Hmph. You can say that again. I walked on all fours just to get to the cookie."

D covered his mouth to hide the smile. The dear detective really was just too cute. But D had to be careful. Leon could easily disappear into the shop, and D could not stand to lose his dear detective. He had talked to the animals prior to Leon arriving, and they had agreed, T-chan very enthusiastically, to hide the truth from Leon. All because the detective was not ready for the truth, and because, however he had turned into…..whatever he was, someone else was behind the change. Someone D had half a mind to turn into a pet.

* * *

One week passed with Leon arguing with D, helping out with chores, and even dancing when the customers brought their children to the store. Leon was very bored from the slow days in the shop, and D had prudently decided that as even he could not pass Leon off as a cat, that Leon was to remain in the shop at all times. Leon learned fast that whatever he was,could perform odd dancing moves. He just twirled and hopped around. The kids found him hilarious. Leon just felt nauseas. D made a sign proclaiming him not for sale.

Jill arrived after a customer had just left. She was breathless, tucking a strand of hair back behind her hair. Leon bounded over.  
"Hey Jill!"

Jill stared for an uncomprehending moment. Then she sucked in a breath, and headed for the couch. "We found the cult."

"Oh, welcome, Miss Jill." D poured tea for the three of them. "Do you have time to stay?"

"Just as soon as I was done reporting, I ran here."  
"What happened to your car?"

"It broke down. It's in the shop. But you won't believe what happened, Leon."

Jill set Leon up on the table, to better address him. Leon stared at her, blue eyes curious. "We found the guy in the heels, and he sang about how they did not have a cure for the twig that turns out to be from a branch of a cursed tree in a forest near them. The land was originally theirs, but has since become part of a reservation. They help keep track of the more dangerous articles, and since your case, they have had certain rights returned to them to help prevent a repeat."

Jill paused to drink the tea. She loved how the tea was still warm, and not scalding when D served the tea. She had never gotten the knack for making very good tea since burning herself as a kid.

Leon then stood up and began waving his front paws around. "Wait, wait, wait, wait! You mean that the item was dangerous because they don't have a cure!"

"Yes."

D sipped his tea. His insides were disorganized, his emotions scattered. The last week had been…fun. Very trying on both of them, and the animals, but fun. THe animals did their best not to talk in front of Leon, mostly limiting themselves to when Leon was asleep, or when D made his rounds. They all knew a human had no place among them. Even a human in a different form. And now Leon may never be leaving. D decided to figure how he felt about the news at a later date.

"But do not despair." Jill grinned. "They have an old nursery rhyme that may contain the location of a spring that can wash the curse off. Sort of like how 'Ring around the roses' alluded to the plague symptoms."

"So, what now? We try to trace back to where they used to live and then scour the area, checking every spring by chucking me into them until I turn back into a human?"

"Pretty much. But the area is secluded from most of civilization geographically, and protected by law. Many of the people who live there have not moved for six generations or more. Confidence is high that by the end of summer, you'll be back as Leon Orcot, Homicide Detective."

D snuck a covert glance at the calendar. June 12 was the date, so Leon would be leaving soon.

A smarting pain made itself known near D heart. The Count put the feeling down to taking a larger sip to cover the tilt of his head to see the calendar.

Besides, if Leon returned to being human, then the animals could come back into the room and talk freely. Leon could go back to his life. To bringing sweets and lively conversation of his life to D's table. Leon would go back to being himself….

D sipped his tea again, only to realize that the occupants of the room were staring at him.

"D, are you okay?"

D grinned internally, a stray thought covering his silence, one that teased leon at the same time. "Leon has requested that I not express my joy by jumping up and down and cheering."

The look on Jill's face was priceless as she tried to imagine D behaving as anything besides proper.

She gave up, and talked about how badly the station was coping with Leon gone, and some of the wilder betting pools going around about where Leon had disappeared to.

The tamest one was that he had eloped to Cuba with the love of his life, who was a rich sixty-year-old lady.

Leon choked on his chocolate chip cookie.

"Well, it's nine already. I really should get a shower and go to bed. See you when we find the spring, Leon."

Leon called 'bye' after Jill, and sat on the table. D saw the detective to the door, and locked up after her. He told Leon to relax, ha would make one more round of the animals, then give Leon his bath and off to bed for the both of them.

Leon would argue that he did not need a bath, but he had gone without even licking himself for the past week, and D was adamant for Leon's health that if he would not bathe himself, then D would see to it.

After D left, Leon stood up and sprinted around the room. If he was going to have a bath, he was going to be as worn out as he could be so that he could pass out shortly after hitting the bed. Besides, the other animals, D assured him, had adequate exercise. Leon was the exception, and the detective saw to the getting laps around the couch, table, and chair. Not to mention the time he had climbed the door frame. Q-chan had flipped and told D about Leon nearl falling off, which had sent D into a fit.

He had been banned from climbing the furniture, so he made sure to climb all over the customers. D was still furious at him, but he had yet to cause an accident, and the kids loved an animal that would perch on their shoulders.

Leon even climbed up onto D's shoulder from the customers, and some of them laughed about how a childhood pet cat did much the same.

D smiled and offered them the selection of animals that were for sale.

Count D returned to the room, and quietly watched Leon race around the table one more time before calling him. Leon ran over and jumped into D's hands. D swiftly carried Leon into the kitchen, down the hall, and into the spare bathroom.

* * *

The bath was blessedly short. Leon squawked about how cold the temperature was, and again when D rubbed him dry with a wet towel.

D apologized for his distracted behavior, grabbed his own bath, and they both headed to bed. Leon curled up at the foot, and D stretched out on his back. Leon had made one joke about how D slept like the dead, and after D made no more moves for the next few minutes, incrasing Leon's fears that D really had died until D opened one eye and ordered Leon to be quiet, Leon kept his comments to himself.

* * *

The morning was bright and early for Leon, but like every day, D somehow managed to be up before him and done with most of the animals.

Leon had decided not to ask. Besides, he couldn't arrest D in the form of whatever he was. The cuffs actually couldn't fit around Leon himself.

Leon hopped off the bed and headed for the kitchen. The smell of pancakes had become a favorite of his. D, of course, had to find the perfect maple syrup to go on the pancakes until Leon mentioned that powdered sugar and honey worked just as fine, along with sliced strawberries or blueberries.

D had become an addict to the American breakfast, and Leon just sat back and ate the warm flapjacks that D had taken care to cook separate just for him. D still could not believe that Leon had insisted on there being such a huge difference between the two.

Leon bounded into the kitchen, nearly running into T-chan. On reflex, the man-eater snarled "Watch it!"

D held his breath.

"Um, D?"

D closed his eyes and braced himself before opening them.

"If the goat-thing figures out I'm L-e-o-n, will it try to eat me, or just take a bite?"

D nearly fainted with relief. Apparently whatever Leon had become was not blessed with the gift of tongues.

"No, he will not hurt you in any way."

D motioned for Leon to go on ahead for breakfast, and then smiled winningly at T-chan. "You can tell the others that it is safe to talk around Leon, although his comprehension is still touch and go."

T-chan waited for D to leave, before a relieved sigh escaped him. If he had blown out about the secret, D could see to him being a slighted totetsu for a very long time. He then proceeded to start the grapevine about D allowing everyone to talk in front of the Detective again, along with a word of caution.

* * *

Leon really hated the carrier. He had worked from the inside of the cage until he could open the carrier as he wanted to.

He recalled how he had ended up in the carrier.

Jill had arrived after breakfast, announcing the location of the spring. After she had named the location, D had jumped up and down and cheered.

He babbled that a client had called last night and wanted D to examine his pet, and that he lived in the same region where they were going. He could offer them a ride to and back from the spring. Jill hesitated, then agreed.

The chauffer had arrived later, and did not question D needing to bring along Miss Jill and Leon, as he had mentioned a 'pressing issue' over the phone the night before.

Now, Leon climbed over the seat to where D was, before climbing up onto D's shoulder.

"Don't ever put me into that cage unless necessary." He hissed into D's ear. The Count smiled, and handed Leon the remnants of a sandwich he had packed for lunch.

Peanut butter with honey and banana. Go figure.

Leon chomped down the sandwich before gulping some milk from the thermos. He then proceeded to settle down and nap on D's shoulder, his claws sinking in lightly.

* * *

The customer D had turned out to be the head of the cult the thieves stole from. Jill and Leon kept their astonished expressions to themselves. There were these HUGE lizards that were treated as dragons, and given that they were the size of cats to the size of horses, Leon figured that the cult was more or less correct in calling them dragons.

Neither were surprised to actually see people riding the horse-sized dragons.

The curse that Leon suffered from, their host clarified, was called 'Bertha's curse', from an old witch that wanted to keep trespassers out. Unfortunately, when she was buried, she had been killed before removing the spell, so the spell degenerated into a proper curse and protected her land still today.

"We treat the curse with all due courtesy, but as no one can actually break the spell anymore, we also view the trees as an extra security measure. Forget that the trespasser can now sneak pass us, they have to fess up in order to become human again."

The man grinned, completely relaxed, and happy to chat with them. The entire village seemed to be camped on the ground of a palace, one that had seen its share of war.

Leon decided not to ask what the war had been about.

D left while the host toured Leon and Jill around the palace, and returned in time for dinner.

He seemed particularly delighted.

"She is pregnant, and now that they know who the father is, they can treat her accordingly."

"Who? One of the dragons?"

"Correct. I cannot assist any further, but they needed a second opinion. We may leave for the spring tomorrow; they have agreed to aid us."

"Aid? I thought we were walking."

"Well, Leon, remember when you transformed you dropped your gun?" Jill interjected.

"Yeah."

"Well, that gun and your clothes have become evidence in both cases. You won't be getting them back until the case is closed, and as far as I am concerned, you need someone to carry clothes for you, particularly if the-whatever-you-are has a different metabolism. You really like your cookies." Jill smirked at Leon.

Leon began to squawk from indignation until he calmed down enough to argue with Jill. D coughed. "I had the liberty of taking some of Leon's clothes from his apartment while on an errand a while back. I have the change with me, so all we really need are the guides and a towel for when you get out."

D smiled winningly at the two detectives.

* * *

Upon arriving at the spring in midday heat, Jill grabbed Leon, wound her arm as a pitcher does and launched his furry hide into the lake.

Leon had not been amused, nearly charging out of the lack after Jill for the belly-flop that had inadvertently occurred when Leon uncurled himself to land on all fours.

Sadly, while water gives way, the energy of the fall is not completely absorbed, leading to a backlash that had remained on smarting skin for Leon.

Count D had to coax Leon into the loose jeans and t-shirt as Jill and the guide left to give Leon a sense of decency. Leon tried hard not to debate putting clothes on animals. He had not remembered being in need of clothes for the past two weeks, and D had to remind him that animals were built with fur coats that changed seasonally with the fact that they did not wear clothes in mind. But was Leon an animal? Well, technically yes. But he was an animal that needed clothes. Other animals were just fine the way they are, and even humans used to walk around nude, before they became conscious of the fact.

* * *

Riding back from the spring on the dragons was a treat to Leon. He confided to D on the way back that he had the oddest urges to drop to all fours and move faster than the dragons.

The dragons broke into a fast trot that had Leon yelping, and holding into the saddle, trusting the animal to take him back safely.

* * *

Once back home, Leon fell back into the work of a homicide detective who had taken two weeks off to see to…..family affairs. Chris happily complied with saying that Leon had misfortune befall him in trying to visit, and Leon suspected D of slipping the kid some of the pictures from when he was an animal to eases the guilt of lying, as being an animal would certainly have been 'misfortune'.

Leon decided he didn't care.

He had a new case to solve. One he knew that the family had left D's pet shop with an animal, but as Leon could not prove that he had been there when they had bought anything without some awkward questions, he would have to pay D a visit for some answers.

When work settled down, and the landlord was paid, Leon went to visit D and thanked him for the two weeks spent together.

"As it stands, I do believe I owe you a lemon parfait."

"Why, yes you do, my dear detective."

"But first- Did you sell the McFinnley's a pet?"

D sighed, covering the wide smile with the tips of his fingers. Yes, everything was back to normal.

THE END


End file.
